NOTE: In this entry, I use words like satisfaction, pleasure, delight, joy... etc. more or less interchangeably. I happened to use "pleasure" as the dominant term, but please keep note that any of the terms above could have been used instead.)
This entry may seem to take a while to get to "Finding your delight in the delight of another as the definition of love" so I want to give a brief outline to see how I am intending to progress toward this end:
I) We are to view following Christ not as sacrifice, but as pursuing superior pleasure because the pleasures from God are greater than the pleasures from sin.
II) Since the pleasures from God are, in general, greater than the pleasures from sin, we can assume that the pleasures of loving are greater than the pleasures of selfishness.
III) Doing something because it brings you greater (godly) pleasure is a Biblical motive.
IV) Therefore, from II and III, it is Biblical that your motivation for loving be because the godly pleasure of love is greater than the sinful pleasure of selfishness.
V) Defining love as "Finding your delight in the delight of another" preserves the Biblical motive for loving.
VI) What this definition means in the context of our love for others, our love for God, and God's love for us.
I) We are to view following Christ not as sacrifice, but as pursuing superior pleasure because the pleasures from God are greater than the pleasures from sin.
The Rebuke
28And Peter said, "See, we have left our homes and followed you." 29And he said to them, "Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, 30who will not receive many times more in this time, and in the age to come eternal life." (Luke 18:28-30)
This passage follows the story of the rich young man. You can read the story in Luke 18, but in summary a rich young man comes to Jesus and asks how to be saved. Jesus, perceiving that the man loved money, and not God, said that he must sell all his possessions, give them to the poor, and come follow Jesus. (Selling all your possessions is not how one is saved. The point is that you must release whatever you worship and adore, in this case, money, and worship and adore Jesus instead.) The man was not willing to give up his possessions, and the Word says that he became "very sad." Seeing his response, Jesus comments, " How difficult it is for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God! For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God." (verses 24-25). The disciples are shocked, because in their eyes, if it was hard for the rich to get into the kingdom of heaven, then how could anyone? 'Those who heard it said, "Then who can be saved?" But he [Jesus] said, "What is impossible with men is possible with God." ' (26-27)
This is the point where Peter says, "See, we have left our homes and followed you." He is expecting a commendation from Jesus. I think this is where Peter's heart is at this point: "We were willing to make the sacrifice that he was not willing to make. We were willing to give up our previous lives, but he wasn't. Aren't you impressed, Jesus, with how we sacrificed all we had when we decided to follow you?" Peter is expecting a pat on the back. But instead, Jesus gives him perhaps one of the stranger rebukes in Scripture. Jesus says, in essence, "Do you think this is a sacrifice? Do you not know that you will be richly rewarded?" Jesus rebukes Peter for thinking that following him is a sacrifice, rather than a pursuit of satisfaction and delight.
Here is my point from this passage. Peter perceived following Christ as sacrifice. Christ rebuked Peter for that perspective, and told him to perceive the Christian life rather as giving up inferior pleasure for superior pleasure.
Do we think of giving up inferior pleasures for superior pleasures as sacrifice?
Consider the following situation:
You are looking for an apartment in a new city, and are not having great success. Your job starts in a week, and you have not been able to find a reasonable apartment anywhere, except one. The rent is $1100 a month, which is a lot more that it should be. It's 45 minutes from where you work. The walls are painted a weird yellow-green, the paint is peeling, and there's a weird smell in the bedroom. It's right by the train tracks, and shakes every time a train goes by, which is about every thirty minutes. And this is your prospective home. Then one day, when you are about to sign the lease, you get a call from a future co-worker who knows you are looking for an apartment. He suggests you check this new place out. He tells you it's 10 minutes from work, and he's heard the rent is reasonable. You decided to check it out. And you find that the rent is $500 a month, and it's bigger, nicer, and cleaner than the other apartment. There are no weird smells, you love the decor and the color, and there are no train tracks for miles around.
Now consider this: Would you consider exchanging the bad apartment for the good one as a sacrifice? No! We frequently exchange something that is good for something that is better. We do not see it as a sacrifice. When we give up something that is inferior in every way to something that is superior in every way, we do not consider it to be sacrifice.
Is sin like the nice apartment and God like the crumby one?
No! The pleasures of God are superior to the pleasures of the sin in every respect. The pleasures from knowing, following, trusting, and obeying God, are greater than the pleasures of knowing, following, trusting, and obeying sin.
The two primary ways that something can be superior to something else is in quality and in quantity. Hebrews 10 says, "you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one." This verse does not speak of sin directly, but consider that if they had not done what was stated in the verse above, i.e. if they had not "joyfully accepted... knowing that you had a better possession..." then a heart that coveted riches would have been revealed; a sinful heart would have been revealed. So notice why the Hebrews joyfully accepted the plundering of their property: They know they had a better possession and an abiding one. They knew the value of knowing Christ was greater in quality ("better") and in quantity ("abiding"). The "better" cannot be due to the fact that the possession lasts longer, because "better" and "abiding" are stated separately. The possession must be better in some way other than the lastingness of the possession, or else saying that it is "better" and "abiding" would be redundant.
There are other places in Scripture that we see that the pleasures of God are greater than the pleasures of sin:
We are offered pleasures from the world...
"24By faith Moses... [chose] rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin." (Hebrews 11:24-25)
...and pleasures from God...
" 11You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your [God's] right hand are pleasures forevermore." (Psalm 16:11)"
Notice that the pleasures of God in these verses are shown to be better quantitatively.
The pleasures of God are also shown to be better qualitatively:
1 "Come, everyone who thirsts,
come to the waters;
and he who has no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without price.
2 Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
and your labor for that which does not satisfy?
Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,
and delight yourselves in rich food. " (Isaiah 55:1-2)
This word was spoken to a rebellious generation, who had turned to seeking satisfaction in things other than God, and was a beckoning call for them to return to that which satisfies, by virtue of the qualitative superiority of the pleasures of God.
The greatest contrast of the pleasures of God and the pleasures of the world, or sin, that I have found is this:
"12Be appalled, O heavens, at this;
be shocked, be utterly desolate,
declares the LORD, 13for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me,
the fountain of living waters,
and hewed out cisterns for themselves,
broken cisterns that can hold no water. (Jeremiah 2:12-13)
Which is better a fountain of living water, or a cistern that can hold no water? No contest!
II) Since the pleasures from God are, in general, greater than the pleasures from sin, we can assume that the pleasures of loving are greater than the pleasures of selfishness.
Having already demonstrated from Scripture that the quality and quantity of the pleasures of God are greater than those of sin, I think it is hard to imagine how the pleasures of selfishness are greater than the pleasures of loving. Perhaps a simple enough validification of the statement for the purposes of this blog would be something as follows:
1) God commands his people, above all else, to love him and others.
37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' (Matthew 22:37-38)
2) He also commands his people to pursue that which satisfies.
2 Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
and your labor for that which does not satisfy?
Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,
and delight yourselves in rich food. " (Isaiah 55:2)
3) Therefore, we can conclude that God's people are more satisfied by loving than by not loving.
If the pleasures of God are greater in every respect than the pleasures of sin, then it must follow that a given godly action must give greater pleasure than its sinful opposite.
III) Doing something because it brings you greater (godly) pleasure is a Biblical motive.
There are many, many verses in which the motivation which is condoned by God is one of pursuing that which is more satisfying. Remember, we have already shown that the pleasures that are most satisfying are godly pleasures, or pleasures in God. If we begin thinking that God's recommendation that we pursue our pleasure is in any way a license to sin, then we need to get on our knees and pray for God to reveal to us how superior the pleasures of God are over the pleasures of sin!
Verse: Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10:39)
Action: Losing your life
Motivation: So that you will find it.
Verse: you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. (Hebrews 10:34)
Action: Accepting the plundering of their property
Motivation: Since they had a better possession and an abiding one [i.e. hope of future glory]
Verse: 24By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, 25 choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. 26 He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward. (Hebrews 11:24-26)
Action: Choosing to be mistreated rather than enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin [i.e. suffering for righteousness' sake]
Motivation: He was looking to the reward [i.e. hope of future glory]
Verse: Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
and your labor for that which does not satisfy?
Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,
and delight yourselves in rich food. (Isaiah 55:2)
Action: Listen to God
Motivation: It satisfies!
Time would fail me to show all the places in Scripture where doing something because you will get greater joy out of it is given as a correct motive (See "Desiring God" by John Piper).
One reason why this motive is a (the?) correct one is because God is glorified as giver, not as recipient. Psalm 112:12-13 says, " 12What shall I render to the LORD for all his benefits to me? 13I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD." In other words, I will lift up the empty cup of salvation, and ask the LORD to fill it! God has done such good to me! What will I do in response? Trust him for more! "God is not served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything." (Acts 17:25)
IV) Therefore, from II and III, it is Biblical that your motivation for loving be because the godly pleasure of love is greater than the sinful pleasure of selfishness.
We have shown that the pleasures of God are greater than the pleasures of sin. We have also seen that it is commended in Scripture when people recognize this fact, and do that which is pleasing to God because it gives them greater pleasure. We can then say that, since the joy (on earth and in heaven, "better and abiding") from loving is greater than the joy from selfishness, that God condones the greater pleasure of loving as motivation for loving. Again, remember, this is true because love is a God-pleasing action. If we get "greater pleasure" from sinning, rather than obeying God's word, it is not because God is a liar, and sin is in fact more satisfying, but it it because our eyes have been blinded to to satisfaction and joy that comes from obeying God.
V) Defining love as "Finding your delight in the delight of another" preserves the Biblical motive for loving.
I have not said much using the word "delight" to this point. Perhaps that was a mistake. Anyway, as I noted at the beginning of the entry, I am using delight, pleasure, joy, satisfaction, etc. interchangeably.
I think this definition preserves the Biblical motive for loving for several reasons:
1) The Bible condones doing something because of the superior pleasure that comes from it
2) This definition does not put sacrifice into the definition of love (at the root level)
3) God cares greatly about our attitudes, not only our actions. But he does care about our actions too. This definition couples motivation with action, because if you truly delight in something, you will act to bring it about.
VI) What this definition means in the context of our love for others, our love for God, and God's love for us.
a) Love for others
In the context of loving others, the way to think about this definition of love is,
"Loving others is finding your delight in their godly, not sinful, delight"
There are fleeting pleasure and delights that world has to offer. If we are to love others, what we can do is show them how far superior the pleasures are that God has to offer! This is done by a demonstration of the superior pleasures of God in our life, and by preaching the Gospel so that they too may experience it. The same applies to believers: We want believers to experience the pleasures of God just as much as we want unbelievers to!
If what I have said in the previous sections is true, then the highest delight of others is to know, trust, and enjoy God. If we love others, we will delight in them knowing God. And if we delight in others knowing God, can we say that we are doing anything but loving them?
If God allows me to delight in you knowing Him, I will certainly be motivated (Biblically!) to help you find your delight in Him.
b) Love for God
Our love for God can be thought of this way,
"Loving God is finding your delight in that in which God delights"
I encourage you to read "The Pleasures of God" by John Piper. The book consists of things in which God takes pleasure, and we can too take pleasure in. And if we are delighting in that which God delights, we are loving him. Some of these "Pleasures of God" are listed below:
1: The Pleasure of God in His Son
2: The Pleasure of God in All He Does
3:The Pleasure of God in His Creation
4: The Pleasure of God in His Fame
5: The Pleasure of God in Election
6: The Pleasure of God in doing good to all who hope in him
7: The Pleasure of God in personal obedience and public justice
Is delighting in the "Pleasures of God" synonymous with loving God? Well, try it:
1: The Pleasure of Michelle in God's Son
2: The Pleasure of Michelle in All God Does
3:The Pleasure of Michelle in God's Creation
4: The Pleasure of Michelle in God's Fame
5: The Pleasure of Michelle in Election
6: The Pleasure of Michelle in trusting God to do good to all who hope in God
7: The Pleasure of Michelle in personal obedience and public justice
Sounds to me like Michelle loves God!
c) God's love for us
"God's love for us is his delighting in our delight... in him"
If Psalm 16:11-12 is true...
11You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
...then the greatest thing that God could give us is himself. Consider the logic in this verse: "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" The logic is: If God gave us that which is most valuable and precious in the universe, namely, his Son, then surely he would not withhold lesser things from us!
So, in order for God to act toward us in love, he must give us nothing less than himself. As Augustine said,“Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee..” If God gave us everything else we wanted, except for himself, he would be hating us. He would be giving us everything except that which satisfies.
The cry of Isaiah is my cry. It is the cry of God himself. God's Spirit delights in your satisfaction... and that satisfaction is in God! Hear the cry of love:
1 "Come, everyone who thirsts,
come to the waters;
and he who has no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without price.
2 Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
and your labor for that which does not satisfy?
Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,
and delight yourselves in rich food. " (Isaiah 55:1-2)
Oh, how great is God's love for us, that he would send his Son into the world, to enable us to turn from our broken cisterns that hold no water, and turn to him, the fountain of living water! Let us pursue that which satisfies!
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